| Man: |
You sit here, dear. |
| Wife: |
All right. |
| Man: |
Morning! |
| Waitress: |
Morning! |
| Man: |
Well, what've you got? |
| Waitress: |
Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and
spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam
spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam; |
| Vikings: |
Spam spam spam spam... |
| Waitress: |
...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam
spam spam... |
| Vikings: |
Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! |
| Waitress: |
...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale
manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and
with a fried egg on top and spam. |
| Wife: |
Have you got anything without spam? |
| Waitress: |
Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it. |
| Wife: |
I don't want ANY spam! |
| Man: |
Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage? |
| Wife: |
THAT'S got spam in it! |
| Man: |
Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it? |
| Vikings: |
Spam spam spam spam... (Crescendo through next few lines...) |
| Wife: |
Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then? |
| Waitress: |
Urgghh! |
| Wife: |
What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam! |
| Vikings: |
Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! |
| Waitress: |
Shut up! |
| Vikings: |
Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! |
| Waitress: |
Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and
sausage without the spam. |
| Wife: |
I don't like spam! |
| Man: |
Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam
spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam! |
| Vikings: |
Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! |
| Waitress: |
Shut up!! Baked beans are off. |
| Man: |
Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then? |
| Waitress: |
You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings
drown her words) |
| Vikings: |
Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam
spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely
spam! Spam spam spam spam! |